One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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