I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
