Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Randomize
