He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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