Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
