i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
