I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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