I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
my liver is dry heaving
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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