She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
