1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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