There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
