While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
