at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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