i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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