so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
