once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
