if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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