Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
