He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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