Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
They have beer where we have blood.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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