In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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