I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I am available for nakedness
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
