I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
