my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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