before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
