You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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