Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
