I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
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