when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I wish I only lived at night.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
