Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
