so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
ttyl tear gas
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
