remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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