isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
