Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
