No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I am available for nakedness
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
