When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
