hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
