I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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