Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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