I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
