How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
