is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
