hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
