Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
