I will die if light touches me.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
