you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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