FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
