He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
