Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
