Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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