I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
